The need for attention, relief, support and all the rest from him lately has been ridiculous.
I have always been an independent person, an introvert, it never bothered me to being alone, to not receive a lot of attention..
But lately has been different.
If I don't speak to him for a decent amount of time regardless if it's a meaningful conversation or not I become irritable, some what withdrawn and my heart becomes heavy and aches instantly. Not within seconds, instantly.
I don't know what has crawled up my spine.
That I need him. His voice, his touch, his security, his acknowledgment.
Or maybe I am just too stubborn of a person to accept the fact that it's okay.
It's okay to turn to someone who know's everything about you.
Who know's when you're happy, when you're sad.
Who know's what triggers you and enlightens you.
Who know's that face you make when you are about to cry or how your voice changes when you are upset.
Who know's your dreams, your dislikes, your heart, your mindset..
Or maybe I now have what I always wanted and I don't want to accept that.
What I have been hoping and craving and imagining for all of my life is finally here to stay.. what has made it's home.. but is just too much to handle.
We have been together for 4 years.
I have never ever been so attached, so open to a person..
His arms remain wide open ready to hold me when ever needed to.
Accept it, Nicole