Jun 14, 2012

Mini Patient Stories

When ever I speak about patients that I've came across I have so much to tell. Some are funny (to an extent) but most are confusing and sad, but I remember them all. Of all the many that there are, here's a few..

Note: I don't remember the exact words so these our roughly put together but you'll get it.

PT: I'm here for my annually STD and HIV testing.
Me: Okay. Do you remember the last time you were tested?
PT: Yeah 3 months ago.
[I'm totally confuse..
Me: May I ask why you want to be tested so soon?
PT: I'm a stripper. I need to make sure I'm clean.

Me: Have you done any drugs within the last 15 days?
PT: Only weed.
Me: Okay. 
PT:  .............will coke show up on this drug test?
Me: Yes.
PT: Okay.
[I go on to ask another question but he interrupts..]
PT: How about pills? Will they show up?
Me: Well it depends.. What else have you taken within the last month?
PT: Oh nothing besides weed I am just asking.
Me: Okay...
PT: How about..... nevermind..
Me: Okay.. It's a drug test and is pretty inclusive. Anything within the last 24 hours such as cocaine to the last 20 days will show up.
PT: Even coke and pills?

[Patient was a severe alcoholic]
Me: Sir.. Can you tell me what day or month or year we are in?
PT: Yes we are in September 2005
[I pause..]
Me: No sir.... We are in the month of November of the year 2009. 
PT: But that is no what Jessica said!
Me: Who is Jessica?
PT: My son! 

PT: I want to have an abortion.
Me: Okay so you are pregnant. When you did become aware?
PT: What are you talking about?
Me: You said you want to have an abortion.. that is the reason why you are here today, correct?
PT: No. I want to abort myself.

Mother: My daughter has this giant tumor in her head and that son of a bitch doesn't want to remove it! He won't refer her to a specialist! I can't afford to take her elsewhere!
PT: I don't have anything in my brain my mom is crazy it's only headaches I get a lot of them. 
Mother: No it's all in your brain and he won't remove them he's a terrible Dr I am going to report him!
PT: No mom it's all in your head.
Mother: I have the scans!! I have reports! The tumor is making you confuse!
PT: Mom no those are only records just stop!
[I literally just sat down and listened to them argue..]

PT: I don't understand why you half to stand at the door while I pee.
Me: You diluted your urine with water..
PT: No I didn't that test is false the lab lied.
Me: Well I'm sorry. The quicker you do this the quicker we will be done.
PT: Wanna see it? 
[Oh my god..]

Me: Can you please roll up your sleeves? I need to check your blood pressure.
PT: Just put it over I can't pull my sleeves up
Me: Well I can't get an accurate reading you will need to take it off or pull it up.
[Pulls one sleeve up]
Me: Are you cold? 
PT: Yeah I'm cold.
Me: Well unforuantly you are going to either pull your sleeve up or take your shirts off.
[Takes off]
[On his inner arm vein he has a straight line of pokes]
Me: What happen to your arm?
PT: Umm yeah bugs. There are a lot of them in my apartment. They keep getting me
Me: What are they called, straight liners?

PT: I've lost everything.. my license, my kids, my wife, my business.. I spent $500 a day on pills. I have nothing. 

Me: So how many packs of cigarettes do you smoke per day?
[You can smell a disgusting smell..]
PT: About 5-6
Dr: Do you understand you have COPD? Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease?
PT: Yes I know.
Dr: Do you understand you are going to die? You have stage 4 COPD. 
PT: Yeah I know.  

I hope you all are having a good week!
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  1. Nicole, you have a helpful job, I admire you:-)


  2. Thanks for your lovely words dear*
    What an amazing post and what a nice blog you have. Am a new follower. Hope you follow me back. Please, let me know=)*

  3. O my gosh, this is too much. People..

  4. Holy crap. At least you get to tell funny stories???

  5. most of these are just sad, so is it wrong that some of them made me laugh? like the "what shows up on a test" guy.

  6. It sounds like a very interesting and colourful job.xo

  7. interesting post so sad to know that there are people out there like that

    City Style

  8. wow you meet some interesting people at your job. I at least you get to stay entertained.

    xo erica

  9. Wow, I didn't know you had such a gut wrenching, frustrating job. Does it take a lot out of you or do you just get used to it?

    It's so sad that some people think so little of their health. Really sad.

  10. I bet so many just want pills or attention