Jun 14, 2012

Mini Patient Stories

When ever I speak about patients that I've came across I have so much to tell. Some are funny (to an extent) but most are confusing and sad, but I remember them all. Of all the many that there are, here's a few..

Note: I don't remember the exact words so these our roughly put together but you'll get it.

PT: I'm here for my annually STD and HIV testing.
Me: Okay. Do you remember the last time you were tested?
PT: Yeah 3 months ago.
[I'm totally confuse..
Me: May I ask why you want to be tested so soon?
PT: I'm a stripper. I need to make sure I'm clean.

Me: Have you done any drugs within the last 15 days?
PT: Only weed.
Me: Okay. 
PT:  .............will coke show up on this drug test?
Me: Yes.
PT: Okay.
[I go on to ask another question but he interrupts..]
PT: How about pills? Will they show up?
Me: Well it depends.. What else have you taken within the last month?
PT: Oh nothing besides weed I am just asking.
Me: Okay...
PT: How about..... nevermind..
Me: Okay.. It's a drug test and is pretty inclusive. Anything within the last 24 hours such as cocaine to the last 20 days will show up.
PT: Even coke and pills?

[Patient was a severe alcoholic]
Me: Sir.. Can you tell me what day or month or year we are in?
PT: Yes we are in September 2005
[I pause..]
Me: No sir.... We are in the month of November of the year 2009. 
PT: But that is no what Jessica said!
Me: Who is Jessica?
PT: My son! 

PT: I want to have an abortion.
Me: Okay so you are pregnant. When you did become aware?
PT: What are you talking about?
Me: You said you want to have an abortion.. that is the reason why you are here today, correct?
PT: No. I want to abort myself.

Mother: My daughter has this giant tumor in her head and that son of a bitch doesn't want to remove it! He won't refer her to a specialist! I can't afford to take her elsewhere!
PT: I don't have anything in my brain my mom is crazy it's only headaches I get a lot of them. 
Mother: No it's all in your brain and he won't remove them he's a terrible Dr I am going to report him!
PT: No mom it's all in your head.
Mother: I have the scans!! I have reports! The tumor is making you confuse!
PT: Mom no those are only records just stop!
[I literally just sat down and listened to them argue..]

PT: I don't understand why you half to stand at the door while I pee.
Me: You diluted your urine with water..
PT: No I didn't that test is false the lab lied.
Me: Well I'm sorry. The quicker you do this the quicker we will be done.
PT: Wanna see it? 
[Oh my god..]

Me: Can you please roll up your sleeves? I need to check your blood pressure.
PT: Just put it over I can't pull my sleeves up
Me: Well I can't get an accurate reading you will need to take it off or pull it up.
[Pulls one sleeve up]
Me: Are you cold? 
PT: Yeah I'm cold.
Me: Well unforuantly you are going to either pull your sleeve up or take your shirts off.
[Takes off]
[On his inner arm vein he has a straight line of pokes]
Me: What happen to your arm?
PT: Umm yeah bugs. There are a lot of them in my apartment. They keep getting me
Me: What are they called, straight liners?

PT: I've lost everything.. my license, my kids, my wife, my business.. I spent $500 a day on pills. I have nothing. 

Me: So how many packs of cigarettes do you smoke per day?
[You can smell a disgusting smell..]
PT: About 5-6
Dr: Do you understand you have COPD? Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease?
PT: Yes I know.
Dr: Do you understand you are going to die? You have stage 4 COPD. 
PT: Yeah I know.  


I hope you all are having a good week!
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13 comments:

  1. Nicole, you have a helpful job, I admire you:-)

    Orianne

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  2. Thanks for your lovely words dear*
    What an amazing post and what a nice blog you have. Am a new follower. Hope you follow me back. Please, let me know=)*

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  3. O my gosh, this is too much. People..

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  4. Holy crap. At least you get to tell funny stories???

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  5. most of these are just sad, so is it wrong that some of them made me laugh? like the "what shows up on a test" guy.

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  6. It sounds like a very interesting and colourful job.xo

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  7. interesting post so sad to know that there are people out there like that

    City Style

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  8. wow you meet some interesting people at your job. I at least you get to stay entertained.

    xo erica

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  9. Wow, I didn't know you had such a gut wrenching, frustrating job. Does it take a lot out of you or do you just get used to it?

    It's so sad that some people think so little of their health. Really sad.

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  10. I bet so many just want pills or attention

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