May 29, 2012

On my heart - Prevention of tearing apart



I spent the last 2 days of my weekend with this little lady. She is my baby cousin, K. I remember when she was just a little tiny baby. Her and I basically 'click', we always have. We both feel like outsiders, share the same likes, do crazy things and are amazed by the smallest, to name a few. So when we are together there is no stopping.

On Sunday night we sat in the street talking. Talking about everything, everyone, every problem. I won't go into details but honestly, how can we all prevent now from tearing apart into little pieces?

I have a big family. Both sides are big. 
We also have many secrets. Many dreadful ones. 
One's that if another finds out it will either lead to disowning, nervous breakdown and many, many worsen things.

It's hard to handle sometimes. 

I use to think it was me. That I was just being overally sensitive. But prevention is the key. Many things are hard to prevent.

I tend to not speak of my family to anyone or of any problems but I don't come off as pretending we are perfect. I guess it seems as though it is easier for me to deal with then for everyone to know my problems.

And it's not that my family can't be trusted or if we feel ashamed of many things that has happen or what a person is going through. It just seems as thought some things are better kept a secret than to half to deal with extra drama, worrying or even (the worse of all) heartbreak. The prevention of tearing apart. 

If you have gone through this, how do you deal with?








Pin It

20 comments:

  1. I'm glad to hear that you at least have each other, because it can be rough when you feel alone. I keep a lot of things to myself in my family because I'm kind of the black sheep. I've found that by just sticking to myself it cuts the drama. Sad but true.

    ReplyDelete
  2. hey lovely! do you have an instagram? :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Nicole, so lovely pix:-) The turtle is cute.

    Warm regards

    Orianne

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh, believe me... I have plenty of family drama... I just try to never talk about it. In fact... not really anyone besides my family and best friend know. Sometimes I think it's just better that way - much easier to deal with (for me, anyway).

    ReplyDelete
  5. it's really great you have such a close connection with her.. that way you guys can both share and comfort each other!

    yummm i haven't bbq'd in a while.. i need to.. your bbq looks delish!

    ReplyDelete
  6. having a special family member is the best, xo...

    p.s. gimme some of that food! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm glad she has you! I have a little sis I am super close with

    ReplyDelete
  8. That sounds rough. I am so glad you have someone to confide in though :] I am lucky to have a very open relationship with my mom. I could tell her just about anything.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Love the bridge! =]
    I know how you feel. Some things just need to be kept private, at least for a little while. Just because someone shares your blood doesn't make them good for you, and especially not when you've got something sensitive going on.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Well we live really far away from all our family- all sides- I like it that it is just the four of us- makes us closer and keeps the drama away.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Love your photos- you get great perspective in them!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Your pictures are awesome Nicole!! Did you just happen upon a turtle and a raccoon?
    So sorry to hear of these troubles you speak of, I totally relate to a dysfunctional family. Fortunately for me I have removed myself from it all. I wish you well! xo

    ReplyDelete
  13. Secrets run through my family also - people not wanting to be honest about much, not wanting to take control of their own lives.

    We cannot change others, but we can change ourselves. I finally had to choose between keeping the secrets, or becoming a healthy individual. I chose the latter. We can't keep secrets and be healthy, it just doesn't work that way.

    I don't know your story, or the potential heartbreak that may appear because of what's going on, but I am familiar with a bit of that. If you ever want to chat, I'm here.

    ReplyDelete
  14. My family is more about getting things out in the open, for the most part. But things can get dicey. And dealing with failing grandparents (on both sides) hasn't really brought out the best in people. But I don't know if I have any real advice.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I come from a very secretive, closed up family as well. We don't share things, we don't talk about our pasts, we put on a brave front and keep marching through life. It's very hard sometimes, and it's very hard to share with others. Just know there are others out there who know what it's like. : )

    ReplyDelete
  16. Sometimes I remind myself that it is OK to keep something to myself. I've learned that sometimes the best way to move on, to move forward, is not to vent and share but to reflect quietly by myself. Understanding comes it just takes longer. Years even
    Don't feel burdened by secrets. Be wise with them though.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I know exactly what you mean and hope that you're feeling better!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I've never really talked to my family about anything either.

    I've always been pretty quiet and sit in the corner. I never told them about guys I was dating either, I just never wanted to talk about breaking up with them.

    ReplyDelete
  19. love these pictures!! the second one from the top is awesome, with the bridge and the trees, i really like it!!

    and i'm sorry you're going through some hard times, but i'm glad you have each other!! the best thing you can do is pray that you can hold it together, and pray for your family! i'm sure everything will work out in time :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. I have to agree that sometimes, secrets are best to be kept. I am a peace keeper in my family, so I know way too much about everyones issues, but if it keeps them sane, I am ok with them dumping it on me. Good luck with your family and glad you and cousin had a great weekend.

    ReplyDelete